How Acceptance Can Make Waiting More Bearable

Melon was giving birth to a baby. She had carried the baby for nine months. She was in the labor room after hours of pushing and shouting and excruciating pain. She just couldn't get the baby out. The doctors and the nurses tried all they could but the more they told Melon to push, and the more she pushed, the harder it seemed for Melon. And so at some point, the physician asked the nurses in the room to leave the room. The physician also told Melon that he was going to leave as well. Melon could hear the physician telling the nurses as they were leaving the room - "when she's ready, we'll know."

It was only Melon in the labor room. The pain was excruciating. It was like she was going to die. At that point, she surrendered. She stopped trying. She stopped pushing. She just accepted the pain that was going through her tummy, as her baby wriggled on.

A few seconds later, the baby started crowning. One of the nurses, who happened to come into the room, on an errand, just at that moment saw that the baby was crowning. The nurse called for the physician. And the rest, as they say, was history. Melon's baby was born.

With a bit of hindsight, Melon decided that the moment she got her miracle was when she surrendered totally to the pain. When she accepted the pain.

Carrot's story is another interesting one. Carrot was also going to have a baby. However, due to circumstances beyond her control, she gave birth to the baby at about 29 weeks. Carrot was devastated. Day after day, she watched her baby in the incubator and she couldn't help her baby. Ugly thoughts kept creeping into her mind - will her baby survive? , will there be complications? But more than this, she couldn't help thinking that she had failed in her responsibility as a mother. She couldn't even complete the 'simple' task of bringing a baby to term. She kept on thinking about all the things she did wrong. How she didn't rest enough. How she didn't follow her doctor's orders. The things she could have done differently. No matter what she thought, she couldn't bring back the hand of time. She couldn't reverse what had already happened.

During this time, Carrot neglected everybody. It almost cost the relationship between her and her spouse. Her spouse didn't seem to understand. He went about his routines like nothing happened. He seemed to have moved on quickly. "How could he?" Carrot thought.

Carrot shut people out. It was the only way she could cope. She didn't let anybody in. She just wanted to be by herself. She didn't want to talk to anybody. She didn't want to see her mom, dad, or any other extended family member. She didn't even want to see her spouse sometimes. She just wanted to be left alone.

But the interesting thing is that, with a bit of hindsight, Carrot realized that despite everybody she pushed out, her mom still stayed by her side. There was a time she wasn't receiving any visitors. But her mom kept coming. Her mom never left her. And when she was thinking about it, she realized she was able to go through that experience better because she had the support of her mom. Not that her mom did anything or said anything to cheer her up. It was just her presence during those times.

Carrot's colleagues didn't know how to relate to her either. A lot of them just stopped talking to her and kept their distance. Although Carrot was pushing people out, she still felt disappointed that some people were not reaching out. It was complicated. On one hand, she didn't want to see anybody. However, on the other hand, she felt disappointed that some people were not reaching out. So, it wasn't a surprise that Carrot felt a special bond with Bay, a colleague that Carrot was acquainted with at her workplace, who reached out. Bay called Carrot on phone and they spoke about the incident - Bay apologized for not reaching out earlier. She'd been out-of-office on vacation and just returned. Bay didn't say anything to cheer Carrot up. She asked Carrot about how she was doing and asked how the baby was doing. Carrot felt it refreshing that someone cared to ask how she was doing and to talk about her baby. It was different from how people had avoided talking to her about her baby, almost as if they feared her baby would not survive and so they didn't want to bring the conversation to life.

In both of these stories, acceptance was crucial. Acceptance can provide some perspective when you're waiting for something. It can make waiting more bearable. While Melon was waiting for her baby to be born, the moment she stopped fussing and accepted her pain, her miracle happened. When Carrot accepted her situation and coexisted, her pain was more bearable. She needed people without realizing it. She was going through a lot of emotional imbalance. She was pushing people away. But a part of her also wanted people to stay with her. And so it could be tough if you have somebody that is going through a difficult situation because you don't know what to say to the person. But I think Carrot's story teaches us that you don't have to have anything to say. You just need to show up. That's all that is needed, sometimes, to encourage someone that is going through a difficult situation.

Whatever it is that you're going through, for a change, think about how you can accept it. And maybe that could help.

Well, perhaps you're going through a difficult situation, it's my hope that you're able to relate to the stories of Melon and Carrot, and endure a little bit better. And, if you know somebody that is experiencing a challenging time, you're able to encourage the person better.

 

Worry can weigh a person down, but an encouraging word cheers a person up. 'Cornish’s Cheer' hopes to be an encouragement to people who are under pressure, feel lonely, discouraged, or rejected. I hope these writings impart cheer, and hope and help you flourish with patience, love, and sincerity. Be encouraged and cheered. Also, practice 'chanting' positive affirmations, which can be a powerful tool to help boost confidence.

Nothing in this blog is intended to serve as life, career, health, or financial advice. Do your own research.