Friendship Bubbles

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I was listening to Michelle Obama's podcasts on the light we carry. I had read the book, and then I was listening to the podcast, and she was talking about how friendships have helped her over the years. She was particularly talking about friendship bubbles. How she makes friends by putting them together on a kitchen table. I learned a lot from that conversation. I believe that we can’t do life alone and cultivating intentional friendship can create a safe bubble. 

I strongly believe that many of us find ourselves sometimes lonely, isolated, if you like, and if we can just be a bit more intentional about friendships, perhaps the world will be a better place. Just maybe. And some of the things that come to my mind are issues like – how do you build friendships or how do you make friends without appearing needy? Because sometimes, this happens to me. And I don't know if you can relate. Sometimes I want to reach out to someone, but I'm feeling oh, “I don't want this person to feel I’m needy”, “what if I'm rejected”, “what if this person doesn't want a friend” Sometimes it's the thought of if we let someone in, then they might use what they know about us against us. That feeling of being vulnerable.  But that's where intentionality comes in. So it's a bit like you're pruning. Imagine tending to a garden. Like, okay, you see somebody that you think you may want to be friends with, then you reach out cautiously, and depending on how the conversation plays out, you can then further the relationship. You can introduce new things, or you can withdraw, and it may take a bit of practice. It may even take some rejection maybe, but you see that’s okay. It’s like pruning out unwanted grass in your garden. 

I think if we do not trivialize the people that come into our daily lives, if we pay attention to the people that manifest in our lives, and then intentionally cultivate friendships, we can begin to harvest what we plant. 

Some people may reach out to you as well if you're reaching out to people. So, pay attention to people that are reaching out to you. Then, intentionally let some people go if they don't align with your values or you feel you're not going to be able to be together in friendship. 

I have to say it would take some effort. When I look at my own circle of friends; I've had some really good friends that over the years have been a bit difficult to stick together. Let’s just say some didn’t have enough oxygen for the climb. And I’ve had to let them go. And for some others, I’ve had to be deliberate about reconnecting. 

I think the major point is we cannot do life alone. And we are not being naive to think that there are no bad people. But then, we are also recognizing that there are good people, and through careful intention, we can attract our likes. We can attract the people that we can work together, and build our lives together. And your circle of friends will be different things to you. For example, I think it's just a bit unfair to expect a particular friend to be your everything. Just like if you have a spouse, it might be a bit unfair to expect your spouse to be everything to you. I think it’s a bit asking for too much. 

The same thing goes for friendships. You may have a friend that is good at this and not so good at this. You may have another friend that is good at that and not so good at that. And the ability to actually go to each friend in the areas where they can support you and you can support them is what makes friendship beautiful, I believe. That’s your bubble.

Worry can weigh a person down, but an encouraging word cheers a person up. 'Cornish’s Cheer' hopes to be an encouragement to people who are under pressure, feel lonely, discouraged, or rejected. I hope these writings impart cheer, and hope and help you flourish with patience, love, and sincerity. Be encouraged and cheered. Also, practice 'speaking' positive affirmations, which can be a powerful tool to help boost confidence.

Nothing in this blog is intended to serve as life, career, health, or financial advice. Do your own research.